My Christopher

 

January 31, 2008.  Tomorrow it will be three years since the day that changed my family's life in so many ways.   Three years ago my son Chris was driving back to the plant from doing his scrap route, and ended up hanging out the windshield of his truck for over an hour as rescue workers used the Jaws of Life to free him from the wreckage of an accident that nearly claimed his life.

Had Chris not survived that accident, today I would be telling you about the man he was.  It is because of an extraordinary miracle that instead, today I can tell you about the man he IS!.  Better yet, I'll tell him...

Dear Christopher,
I know that you know I am proud of you.  It's because of you and your brother that I try not to let many days go by without telling you that, or somehow letting you know.  But today, I'm going to tell you again.  Today, I need to be sure that you know how much I love you, and how being your mom has changed my life.

It's true, there were a few moments in time when I thought I might have to imagine this life without you in it.  Being told to come and say goodbye to you "in case you didn't survive" was without a doubt the most heartbreaking thing I've ever been asked to do.  In those moments, when you didn't even know we were there... when you couldn't see us, or even hear us, I now know that a mother's love and a family's love was strong enough to permeate those barriers, and you were somehow still aware of it.
I still can't imagine my life without you in it, and at least for today, miraculously, I don't have to.

It was during your hospital recovery from that accident that you became a father for the first time.  And I have been so blessed to see the wonderful, strong and amazing father that you are.  Your children will always know how much you adore them, and they will always carry with them the values and character that you have lovingly instilled in them throughout their lives.  You have learned some hard lessons about life in the past few years, and the love you have for your babies has brought you out on top and proved that you are the best kind of father there is.  I am so proud of you for that.

You are a wonderful person inside and out.  You are respectful, loving, kind, and honest and when I look at you I feel hope, and pride, and more love than I can express. 

You have taught me that life is too short not to find much humor in every single day.  You have taught me to think deeper, love stronger, and laugh harder.  You have taught me that a broken heart isn't the worst thing that can happen to a mom and that the love between a mom and her son is strong enough to see us through whatever life has to throw our way.   You have taught me that physical pain is disappointing and frustrating, but the strength of the human spirit can keep us from letting pain control us.  You have taught me the value in having and showing passion for what makes me happy.  

I love you with every cell in my body and I am the luckiest human in the universe to have been given the privilege of being your mom.

I'm pretty happy you're not a cat.. because I think maybe most of your 9 lives would be used up by now son!  I'm so grateful that God gave you back to us.. for however long, for whatever reason.  I just know that loving you has made me a better person, and continues to do so every single day that we live this crazy life.

Happy Miracle Day Christopher!

I'll love you forever,
Mom